I consume more coffee than certainly healthy and even effective for any productivity. I stand in front of the mirror and wait for the ding, 30 seconds to a minute depending on how much coffee was left in the pot. It’s as if that ding is the insurance that whatever I do next will be productive! Will be like some confidence boost crossed with anti-depressants. I’m not exactly down everyday so I guess it’s working.
Before I sit down to write I’ve already drafted at least one manuscript. If my motivation and fingers could keep up with my mind I’m sure I’d be halfway to Hemingway. Then a dog barks; I left them sleeping in the bedroom with Spencer. I quickly get up the stairs and let Hush Puppy out. We get back to the stairs and she looks up at me sweetly, begging that she needs me to carry her down the stairs. I tell myself that as some weird over-affectionate pet owner, I need that purpose- or I just was way too into stuffed animals as a child and now this is the play as an adult. So, I pick up the 45 lb. german shepperd-corgi, slip and recover half way down the steps, and put her down at the back door. She runs out, pees in my garden, and returns for me to clean her muddy paws. Finally I sit back down at the computer. The cat swats at the dog, I yell at them, and begin to write the third sentence. The second dog barks. Why I never have foresight… I suppose it’s time to microwave my coffee again.
a poorly written essay on operant conditioning 